A lot has been going through my mind lately. I haven't been posting simply because I no longer feel that I should be posting every insignificant little detail of my life. I prefer to write down the times when an "epiphany" comes to mind or something significant happens. I want to provide letters of wisdom now instead of a diary of my life. Aside from that, change has once again stepped into my life; this time it's for the better.
I hate to be so cliche, but you know they say that "the first cut is the deepest" and I've gained first hand experience from that. My "wounds" have finally healed but a scar still remains and stares at me in the mirror everyday. Not to say it's a bad thing; I believe that it constantly tells me to build upon the past. It represents experience, burns, and a past love. It has taught me to avoid repeating the same mistakes, take in and carry on what positives there were, and to change myself for the better.
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Can I place an edit here please? Christie made it apparent to me that I sound like a cutter. I swear I'm not talking about that, and I don't do that. If you do, there is plenty of help for you and I wish you the best of luck. I'm talking about past relationships. [... geez]
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Anyways, to say the very least, I'm glad that phase in my life is over. I'm not even sure why I'm recounting and recollecting thoughts that have been long put to memory; probably because as opportunities arise my scar begins to burn a little to serve as a reminder to keep caution. The bruises of the past makes me nervous to let myself fall again so quickly. With change in mind, I've decided to explore the possibilities of what could be by going to new places, hanging out with new people, and experiencing a new life.
A new life but the same Jared. I new way of experiencing and approaching this gift that God has given me. I've gotten the basic gist of what could be if I took that giant leap and I am genuinely excited and full heartedly glad that I'm taking these steps. I'm leaving the past behind but taking with me the burn on my chest to show everybody that I'm a force to be reckoned with. I have experience and I'm not somebody to be taken lightly despite this new environment and atmosphere. Then again, at the same time, I witness scars, burns, and tattoos of those around me showing me that they have a lot more to teach me. I'm lucky; I was able to walk again but I'm left staring at those who could barely stand anymore.
All of this is not without help. I for one am grateful for those friends, acquaintances, and possibilities that have "held my hand" to pull me through this dark tunnel. They've seen the light, experienced what I'm currently going through, and are knowledgeable of my destination. Even for those who can't exactly relate to my experience, I know some of you will be standing there at the end of the tunnel cheering me on. It's people like you that I've learned to love, cherish, and appreciate.
Anyways, my posts aren't going to be as long as my previous ones anymore. Maybe one day, for those of you who are lost, you'll understand what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. It's something that's going to happen so why wait any longer; why wait any longer for happiness...
"It takes courage to think alone, to resist alone, to stand alone - especially when the crowd seems so safe, so right" - Charles Swindoll
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