Demolished

Youre a good friend Jared... BUT, I want you to be happy...

But am I?  I constantly ask the same question over and over again... I say Im happy, and I think I am, but Im not sure.  I always have second thoughts about the things I do.  Nobody wants people to step all over me.  I do have my standards that prevent people from stepping all over me, but usually I let people have it their way.  WHY?  I do it because I am afraid of disappointment, dissatisfaction, anything negative on the other side.  I rather take all the crap and put it on my side for them.  So, I really arent always happy with the decisions that I make.  EVEN though its the right thing to do, Im not always happy with it.  Or is it the right thing to do?  There are so many arguments and sides to whether it is right or not.  Theres a reason for everything.  And shouldnt I be happy for doing the right thing?  Unless Im doing the wrong thing.  These are just the few things of many things that Im lost with.  Why do it for humility?  Why always put your so called happiness on the side?  Humility is a virtue, simply stated.  Thats what Ive believed for a long time, and will most likely will continue to do so.  Even for future reference Im probably going to do the same thing over and over again.  Things that kill me:  Disappointment and guilt..

I never want people to feel disappointed in me and I hate having the feeling of guilt for doing something do others...