Well, the stress isn’t necessarily over and school is still taking over my life. I finally got a day when I just sat at home, relaxed, and did nothing. Seriously, I needed one of those days.
Anyways, so my friends have always called me “Jared the Heartbreaker.” I guess it suits me… and yes, it is bad. I’ve always pictured my dream girl, the “one” so to speak, and if I find someone who I don’t see as the “one,” then I won’t see myself with them. No I’m not trying to be conceited or anything like that at all, just trying to display a point that I’ve found that I’ve broken a lot of hearts. All these girls who crush on me, who find me attractive, who actually like me for who I am, I end up breaking their hearts because I can’t see the “one” in them. Is that so bad of me? Is it really bad for me to wish for the “one”? I don’t intend to break their hearts, I wish we could just be friends, I wish that we could be like family, I wish that you never crushed on me so that I could never hurt you. No this isn’t aimed for anybody in particular, just the sweet ones whom I’ve hurt. There are a number of you and I am sorry. Truly very sorry. And I will know just how you feel, when I find the “one” who will reject me; I’ll be a heartbroken heartbreaker.
But I have to look at this through both points. A lot of you may be asking, “Well, what is wrong with me? Are you so stuck up that I don’t reach your standards?” Well, no, there is nothing wrong with you based on your standards and there is nothing wrong with you based on anybody’s standards. Please understand there is nothing wrong with you; what I mean to say is that everybody has a preference. I have a preference and you’re probably just not my type of girl. “Well, I’m willing to change for you…” DON’T! Please don’t change, find another guy who would like you for who you are. If you’re not happy with the way you are then go ahead and make a change, but that won’t make you a better person; that will only make you more satisfied with yourself. If you’re happy with yourself, then find someone who will be happy for yourself as well. Reality wise, there is no better person; religiously wise, a better person is one who is closer to God. The more closer you are to God, the closer you are to Heaven. But we have to look at this realistically, so please realize that nobody is better than anybody else. A whore may see her pimp as the greatest person in the world as he provided her with warmth, love, care, and shelter; however, others may see him as dirty for his business. There is nothing wrong with you, just not my type of girl, not my type of preference, but one who I may get along with. Sorry once again.
Question: Would you rather have you’re dream girl? Or your soul mate? Basically, would you rather have a girl who is everything you’ve every wanted? Or the one who can relate to every possible experience you’ve had with theirs?
On Replay: Comfortable//John Mayer
My timing isn’t very good at all. But I guess that’s what makes me Filipino =P. Seriously though, when it comes to girls, I’m way off. I mean, it’s like everything seems to happen really late, and then I have to catch up with more than I can handle and end up losing it all. Hahaha, it’s a little difficult to explain. I’m just like whatever, how can I lose something that I’ve never had in the first place? Just anticipation… I can’t wait though for the future. In the oxymoronically stated words of Richard, “Let’s plan to be spontaneous.” I think I should plan on a specific date instead of being spontaneous… Let’s give it a shot…
Our PCN for Barkada is coming up I think in March… I was asked to tryout for a couple of the dances… one in particular is the bahag(sp?). Time for me to go on a diet! “Go on the special K diet and lose 6 lbs. in two weeks…” Wish me luck on that one. I really can’t wait for PCN. I’m definitely trying out for dances, acting is still pending.
My Incredibles are great. Been having a lot of fun with them lately. Loving our California burritos guys! And our fight night and fusion frenzy, you all had to form an alliance between all of you just to beat me in Odd One Out… and I still won =P. A lot of them went to the PI; you know Linette was on Wowowee? Hahaha, it was hilarious. I probably would have done the same thing if I was there, “Sinong Tatay Mo…” AND we’re all planning to go snowboarding on Friday! Rock on! I want to get my own gear, but that’s money. I’ll probably wait until off season.
School is doing alright. Man, I’ve been working like 24/7 studying. This weekend was a real chill weekend, but I’ve got my work ahead of me tomorrow. I might pull an all-nighter. We’ll see what happens. I feel confident for 4/6 of my classes. My main concern is in English. English I’m doing horrible as I’ve pretty much failed my first two homework assignments… I won’t say that it’s ok, because it really isn’t. I have no idea what happened, I read and studied but still received low grades. However, I’m very fortunate to find that my grade is mainly focused on three essays and an exam. So two homework assignments shouldn’t affect me too much. All my other classes are A’s. I’m going for a 4.0 this quarter! Rock on! I have my work ahead of me like I said…
Oh man Myspace. Lately I’ve been getting a lot of random friend requests. I’ve received two from these people with like thousands of friends. I usually accept requests, I wonder if these kids actually stay in touch with who they asked? Seriously, from my past experiences with random requests, very few ever left me a comment. I’m just about ready to delete the random ones who never left me a single comment or message. In fact I’m going to do it, just as soon as I update all my other stuff. I want to put up my favorite music, books from college, about me… and new pictures. All my pictures seem to make me look fat, and I’m not. I’m not exactly cut, but I’m definitely not fat. Hahaha. Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of, I won’t say real because all hip-hop is real, I won’t say true hip-hop because you can’t fake it, I’ll say lyrically gifted hip-hop. I’m loving the phrases, sounds, rhythm, and feeling of the words being expressed through voice. I’m listening to a lot of that Talib Kweli, Fugees, Lauryn Hill, The Roots, and all of that nice Jazz. I want to put that on Myspace… Hahaha what am I doing talking about Myspace? I have to get working on it sometime.
Oh what a life. So simple, yet so complex. So that I don’t violate the law in Philosophy, by simple I mean in comparison to the outside, by complex I mean in comparison to the inside. Both tied to the human individual. Peace, Love, and Hip-Hop…
On a side note, I want to learn how to write songs. I want to become lyrically blessed and musically gifted. I want to leave a nice impression on those who want to hear. Which is why I’m in APITG eh? Hahaha, I’ll let you know how that is going…
And I love God. He’s a cool guy. He really has been answering my prayers lately. Heh. What does He have in store for me next?
It’s going to be a killer quarter. I have no time for food and no time for studying. Actually, I do have time for studying, more like no more time for fun. God help me.
“Of A, B, C, and Z, Z wanted the perfect (as in “preference”) A, the better than average B, or be comfortable with C. A never noticed Z since Z was at the end and C just wasn’t working out. B took a chance on Z and began a connection… Z still wished for the perfect A but gave up on trying. Time passed and Z and C are friends, Z and B are getting close… and A began noticing Z. Now should Z break B and take a chance on A, give up on A, or sieze the moment with C?”
“Jared, what’s the point of your story?
“Well, while A was noticing Z, B was crying, C was just having fun, and Z was lost, U and I came together, X and Y got married and had some kids, and J and P were just playing…”
“I’m lost…”
“I guess that’s why I’m J and you’re Z”
Sometimes, stories don’t have to make sense to brighten another person’s day; just as long as they laugh and smile… but with all jokes aside and before the first response, were you able to answer Z’s question? Seriously.
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