Self Healing

“I’m slowly beginning to learn to love myself more and MORE every day and realizing that I am an amazing individual; that the greatest relationship I can have is with MYSELF. I don’t need somebody to make me happy, I don’t need somebody to make me sad, I don’t need somebody to tell me that life is worth living for, and I most definitely don’t need somebody to tell me that my life is dedicated for them. I’m beginning to understand my full potential and I WILL NOT put up with anybody who is reckless with my heart and those individuals who can’t appreciate MY capabilities…

… you DO NOT control my life nor my emotions; I DO, I am free.”

- Jared Falcis 9:20PM 8/26/08

Colossians 3:14 - "Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection."

A Hard Lesson

I must apologize for always writing about love, romance, and relationships as my previous entries have been nothing but that; at the same time, I don’t regret a single entry that has been made. Why always write about love and romance? Love is everywhere, love is sought, love is lost, and love is the pain and pleasure of many people’s existence.

There are many types of relationships with many types of results; however, taken from one of my previous entries, love is ironic. To make a simple generalization, there is the wrong person at the right time, the wrong person at the wrong time, the right person at the wrong time, and the right person at the right time. This entry will discuss the right person at the wrong time.

A hard lesson learned; a hard lesson learned indeed. How do you deal with this situation when you know everything is right? Mutual feelings, mutual emotions, mutual experiences, mutual values, mutual beliefs, mutual lives… everything is amazingly perfect. A mirror of the soul, a reflection of yourself, the spitting image of your desired qualities; the nearest to perfection. You get the picture; everything internally is absolutely incredible. Externally, irony has its play at the present circumstances. Personal problems and issues create ridiculous obstacles that are impossible to overcome; lack of time, lack of priorities, lack of money, lack of individual attention, or lack of devotion. All are understandable conditions that create bars, walls, or barriers to prevent intimacy; it’s not the right time.

What do you do? You can wait or don’t wait; both have high risks to them. Waiting could be forever and that person may not be the same person as he or she was before; not waiting obviously could mean losing that person. Anyways, regardless of what you do, that person needs time and space; so give it to them. Wanting to be included is one of the most difficult anxieties to suppress, hold, and keep to yourself; but trust me when I say this, you’re only causing more damage when you try to place yourself into their lives when they simply don’t have the time.

They want you in their lives as much as you want to be included in theirs; however, help them out by not becoming another one of their worries. Help them when they need it, not when you want to. Maybe they don’t want you in their lives at the present moment because they can’t commit themselves fully to you; they have too many other priorities… and they want you to wait until they can commit to you… in the end, they’ve made their choice with you; what’s going to be yours?

This isn’t a set in stone result and don’t always count on everything happening exactly how you wish; in fact it may be just the opposite. Everything involves risk; everything. Maybe you’ll wait and find yourself in an even greater relationship than before or maybe you’ll wait only in vain. Maybe you won’t wait and find potential in another or maybe you won’t wait and lose your original potential lover… the next move is yours.

I will take that risk, I will wait… at least until I get my sweater, shorts, and heart back.

That One Other Person

Have you ever found yourself in a situation similar to this:

"Seriously, when is this finally going to be over? When is it all finally going to end? When am I going to be happy..."

"Honestly, all it takes is that one other person..."

You can fill in the blanks and comments between because if you've ever gone through a break up then you'll recognize the aforementioned situation. So this is for the broken hearted, under appreciated, taken advantaged lovers out there searching for a solution and looking for an answer:

There is another person out there and there is somebody who will truly appreciate you for your entire being; and if you don't believe so, just take a look over the city scape. I recently saw a beautiful view of Los Angeles at night with an amazing vantage point. I became so nostalgic just looking over the City of Angels thinking about the millions of people in front of me; there had to be at least one person out there who knew where I was coming from, there had to be at least one person who understood why I do things, there had to be one person; there just had to be at least one person... little did I know, that person was sitting right next to me.

Often times we look so hard we become tunnel visioned; we don't notice the people around us. We're so set on having a certain type, a certain look, a certain feel, a certain pleasure that we don't recognize the essence and significance of another person. Sometimes the person you were looking for wasn't the person you were looking for, as paradox as that sounds. I'm not saying that you may want the person you don't want, everybody should understand what they don't want in a relationship; what I'm saying is that it may be unplanned. That one other person will come into your life when you least expect it at exactly when the time is right. Expectations in another will never lead to the right time for companionship; it will never lead to the right time for love.

That one other person is absolutely amazing; the power and influence he/she will have on your character will enrapture your entire body. It's as if the past and all that you've experienced has led up to this point; that everything has happened for a reason. I'm telling you, when you discover this person you'll feel as if the earth shook the day you met. As ridiculous as it sounds, that one other person can change your perspective on life at an irregular heart beat; you'll be naturally high, theoretically fly, and emotionally tied to that one other person. You'll want to take that one other person around the world.

Don't expect that one other person to come though; that one other person always come unexpectedly. For the faint hearted, misunderstood, and unfortunate lovers, that one other person is out there feeling the exact same way as you do now. Stop looking over the city for your match made in heaven as beautiful as it may seem; that one other person is right next to you with the same view of the city, the same outlook on life, and the same search for love shining brighter than the city ever could.