[sigh]
I truly am a horrible person to cause such harm to so many people...
... and karma seems to attack me...
[possibly more details later]
[begin second post of the day]
2nd post of the day:
WORD to this song.
Just listen...
[already in love]
[passion]
[lyrics]
eh...
[let me know if Im wasting my time]
[end second post of the day]
Ew. I am getting fat. Its kind of ugly... Could it be the drinking?
This leads to my next point; after so many nights of drinking [pretty much once or twice a week of drinking for the past seven weeks] I am going to take a break; no more drinking until ski trip. I had a horrible hangover before my debate which was stupid. In fact, I shouldnt even be drinking at all. It seems that all my blogs are about drinking recently... Its really bad. But what can I do?
Anyways, lets talk about another thing. I finally got to spend the weekend with my family in Vegas! It was a lot of fun. I got some new clothes and we saw a magic show with Lance Burton. I have a new trick up my sleeve now. As for school, I really give up on this quarter; it was more of a test quarter to see if I could handle board along with school. Obviously, it is not working out so I need to get a little lighter on school. This could be another reason why I am switching majors [all majors are hard though]. I cant wait to start my classes in CIS. I think that I am really going to enjoy doing them. Unfortunately for next quarter, none of the classes will be in CIS but rather for the business major [since CIS is under the college of business]. It felt good to hang out with my family all weekend. All we did was walk around every mall in Vegas [ughh...] but I still had an overall great time.
Now that the weekend is over, I have to get back to work. Back to school, back to stressing, and back to Barkada. Can I tell you something? I really miss my
I had a great weekend. I had so much fun and relaxation and great times with Barkada. I guess you can say that school is still stressing me out like crazy; I cant stand all the work and reading that all my classes give me. They expect the class to do so much as if we dont have any other classes. Well, my last quarter of a Biotechnology major is almost over, so I have to continue working hard and look forward.
First night was the Kuya/Ate/Ading Chuck E Cheese Night. It was the day after our last volleyball game of the Fall Quarter. I definitely enjoyed this event. One of the better times to bond with my Ading. He drank a little bit that night, but it was all good, we still managed to play a lot of games and take a lot of pictures. It was as if I was a kid again playing on all the games and winning tickets. There are definitely going to be more games and times like these in the future; Im very fortunate to have the Ading that I have now.
Our next event happened right after Chuck E Cheese Night. It was our first Bowl4GK event that was made to help with the poverty in the Philippines. Im sure it turned out great, board made a team and we ended up making it to the second round of the brackets. I bowled my highest game of my life this weekend; I got a 164 and a Turkey. It was awesome.
Though Bowl4GK was fun, everybody was more excited to go crazy in Vegas. To put it short, we basically had a crazy time with Vegas and drinking. Im pretty sure I know my limits, I still havent thrown up yet which is good. Drinking isnt good, but I think its inevitable that I am enjoying it now... Anyways, before I begin feeling sorry for all these things, I met Dante Basco; hes Rufio. It was cool; Ana was playing poker right next to him. Other than that, I bonded with my Ading; which is probably why I really enjoyed this trip. For Die Hard nights, we do this thing where we brush each others teeth... I swore I was never going to be taken down by this, but they got me this weekend. All the guys ganged up on my and put peanut butter all over my face, up my nose, and stuck a banana in my mouth. Its all good fun though.
We had a lot of bonding conversations; some were interesting, or better yet, most of them were interesting. Some of them I already knew and some I didnt. Other than that, I just got reminded of the past of probably my only regret. I cant stop thinking about it. But thats the way life goes, and I just have to keep pushing and pushing to get through it all. Crazy thing about this weekend is that I saw two shooting stars outside of Victorville, so I made two wishes; both were the same. God knows; lets hope my prayers and wishes come true. It gives me hope.
Im a weakling, liar, and hypocrite...
I swore I was NOT going to change my major...
... that being said kids; Im changing my major. BOOOOOO!
I got tired and couldnt take it anymore. Looking into switching from Biotechnology to Computer Science OR Computer Information Systems. I like computers; not people [haha just kidding about that part].
Oh what a week what a week...
... so much has happened in a week! Im getting tired of writing lesson blogs rather than things that actually happened.
Anyways, besides that, heres a basic breakdown of all that has happened this week. I think Ill start with the SPUF Halloween party at Kyleens house. I will say that I had a lot of fun that night; though there are some things that I cant even remember about it. I was gagging that night; too much to drink I guess... well, remember how I said that I said some so called minor things that bothered me at Lumpia Night? Well, I guess it wasnt as small as I thought... I kind of broke down that night. Hello Emo. Toilet hugger. I do sort of regret that night, but then again I sort of dont as well. I feel more relieved that I got those issues out for people to know, and I also got to bond with my Ading; like hella bond. Rhea was there to comfort me as well. I never thought that I would break down in public... it just happened.
The usual came around during the week; practice, volleyball, workshops, and meetings. School is very stressful right now, Im having a difficult time concentrating from lack of sleep. Thursday night I drank again before and during Speedzone; I think I made a fool of myself. It was all good fun though; I do think that I need to settle down for real. Once again, I bonded with my Ading and got to chill with the Guys. Die Hard style. If you cant tell, Im really glad that I got Mark as my Ading. God knows hes probably reading this right now (Hey Ads). Things are looking good for the future.
If there is one thing that is bothering me a lot though is that I am missing my inners like crazy. I cant stand it. Im happy to be home this weekend, though I am missing a lot of Barkada events. Im glad to be home to be able to hang out with my family and chill with the Incredibles, Inners, and all of my friends that I miss. Sunday will have to be a study day though.
That is what is bothering me, but my drinking is making me really scared... Im officially a social drinker. And I have been identified as a talkative drinker; I cant stop talking when I drink. I really do think that I need to settle down. Four times in this past three weeks I drank; one of them going a bit over the top. Theres even a party next week... not with Barkada but with the Inners, its going to be Graces birthday.
Im losing Faith; its so bad. It is bothering me the most every night. Im sure Ive said it before, but I do pray every night. When I do pray, all I do is say sorry for not doing the right thing. After saying it so much I dont even know if I mean it or not... I know the path to get on the right track once again, its just waiting for me to jump on. I need a push.
I want you to know, if youve read this far readers, that though I do have all these concerns in my mind, overall, I am very happy. Im happy with the friends Ive made, the bonds Ive made, and the family Ive made. Im very content with how things are. The issues stated before are exactly what they are, issues. Those things bring me down; however, there are just too many things that are keeping me up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
