UGHHHH what a frustrating week!! There were a lot of ups and downs this week but overall I learned a lot…

So starting in the beginning of the week I hung out with Jaimie and Leah and we just talked about San Francisco. Its all good, it seems that we were all able to talk about all of our concerns about the trip. Overall though we had a good time just chillen. Later I got Mark some food for his practice since I havent hung out with him in awhile; really busy with b.MOD and hell week.

I had a talk with that old friend that I thought was ignoring me. Once again were cool, but its not like were constantly talking to each other ya know? I guess its all in the process of getting over one another. Its alright, I mean I do miss her, but eventually well be at the point again where were just really great friends. In the end though, Im just really glad that were cool and talking to each other again; I dont have that feeling in the back of my mind that shes mad at me.

Im beginning to watch house since our cable has been out for several months and we have the season one dvd. I like it A LOT. Its really interesting and just something that Id throw out. Our cable came back later on this week though so we have tv to watch at the apartment finally. I still am not watching a lot though, its just that I dont have that much time to do it.

I finished learning to play the say Way Back Into Love from the movie Music and Lyrics this week. Now Im beginning to learn how to play Because of You by Keith Martin. Its a lot harder that the other song; but I plan to continue to practice piano and learn more songs. For lent, I gave up myspace and AIM, I plan to add more things later but I havent really decided what yet. I mean its pretty much everything that I plan to do for my New Years resolution; maybe for lent I should just make sure that I stay on track with my resolutions.

We had volleyball on Wednesday and we won by default since the other team didnt have enough people playing. I wasnt there either though. I decided to go to Joes Sushi to celebrate Gregs Birthday. It was the best sushi Ive ever had and it was all you can eat. I swear I had so much sushi that night, I think I had like thirty plus rolls. Weve gotta eat there again sometime.

I got paid on Friday and I got a grip of clothes this week. Mostly from Urban. I definitely like the majority of their clothes. Their style is freakin awesome. SO if any of you ever plan to get me a gift certificate, get me one from Urban. Currently, this is where Im getting the majority of my clothes. Talk about brand loyalty.

I finally hung out with Ivan this week. Havent seen that guy in years. It was cool, I had a good time. We just got lunch and ended up playing guitar hero at his house; I had work later so I couldnt really stay long. Definitely gotta chill again sometime.

I hung out with Caleb last night. We just got Red Robbins with my brother and another friend named Chris. Later we went to our house and watched random movies on TV and reminisced about high school; yeah those were the days. I miss high school a lot as well, but college is a whole different story that Im definitely enjoying.

Today I went to Pasadena with the fam bam. Just got some shopping done, no big deal. I got some jeans among a few other things. Just walking around Old Pasadena brought up some old memories though… I kind of just got some pictures of what happened there before; some things that made me happy. I miss those days as well.

SO something really pissed me off this week. And I mean really pissed off. So we were supposed to find out about our roles in PACN this week; very disappointing results. Well I didnt find out about my role until we went to Erins birthday karaoke. I find that I dont even have a role; funny since I called like four or five times to get my role. So Im mad that I dont have a role even though I tried out for a main role. I learn later that there were others who didnt get a role either. So Im just thinking in my mind, sorry for the language within the next paragraph, what the fuck?! I learn LATER that people who did not even want to try out for main roles got the main roles; I got more pissed off and once again what the fuck?! The final straw was when I heard that more than half of the e-board has roles and a lot of those roles are somewhat big in the PACN… WHAT THE FUCK?! Ok Ok Ok, so here are the supposed reasons for this. The first reason is that my personality didnt fit any of the roles… OK, thats the point of acting; youre supposed to act outside of your personality and thats why there are acting directors to help you do so; so dont give me that shit that my personality doesnt fit any of the roles. NEXT the reason for some of the e-board being the big roles is because the roles were already ready for them; some of the names of the roles being pretty obvious that they were for those persons. SO if you already had a cast picked out for PACN why did you even have try outs for any of the roles? You picked your cast out because they mesh good together? BULL. PACN is supposed to bring everybody together; not people who already mesh well with each other. Its supposed to bring the whole club together. And why do the judges have big roles in the PACN? They are judges and just because they are judges does not mean that they can place themselves within certain roles; basically they are putting themselves in front of members. ONCE AGAIN you have to understand that members come first before anything. SO why do e-board members have roles but regular members dont? In addition to that, why do regular members still dont have roles while e-board has the majority of the big roles? Very upsetting. Heres a story, I felt that our tinikiling was bias last year so I gave up my position in tinikiling because I felt that members should be experiencing that role who really wanted it. You cant take away those benefits from the members; especially since youre on board. This years cast for PACN is very bias to me as well as picked out of favoritism. Remember, this is the members PACN; even though e-board was in charge of the script, the actual PACN is the members. SO once again my main concerns are why is it that the people who didnt want the main roles in the first place got the main roles; those people who did not have the passion and excitement to get it in the beginning in comparison to those who really tried and put effort into trying to get those roles? Another concern is why is it that there are members who did not get any roles, regardless of what type of role that they tried out for, and e-board members and judges got the majority of big roles? Why are the e-board members being put in front of regular members? Do you have to be in e-board to get a big role? WHY were there try outs when there was basically already set positions for actors? ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I HOPE that roles are not being made up just to compensate for complaints from NOT JUST ME but from members who did not get roles. Because if they are then those roles have no point in the PACN, those roles can be taken out and the PACN would be exactly the same. I have already brought up these concerns with e-board; and have offered to speak of my complaints at their next e-board meeting. I am more than willingly to bring up my concerns. I am very upset and disappointed with these past decisions; if e-board truly believes members come first, then theyll know what to do with their roles…

A note to this blog, these are just my personal observations as well as others who share the same view, there may be some people who dont agree with this; however, I find that those people are the ones who got the largest benefits from PACN without even trying.

I apologize if this blog causes harm to anybody; but my blogs are basically used to jot down my personal thoughts and thus may or may not be the actual story; it may be exaggerated or it may be exactly what happened. You can agree or disagree with this; check back a week later and maybe my views will have changed by then.

On a lighter note, Im glad were talking again…