A lot of things happened this week as well as a lot of mixed emotions. Sometimes its just easier to go down the list of things that I did this week…

Monday Mark stayed over cause he was too tired and helped me finish my project for IBM 301. I had a midterm this week for that class and ended up getting a ninety percent on it; not too bad at all. Im hoping that I get a good grade on my project; we shall see, we shall see.

On a bright note, I am getting really good results from working out; Im hearing from a lot of people that Im looking skinnier. Im not sure if I should take it as a good thing or bad thing because Im trying to look like Im getting back in shape. Im guessing its a good thing though because I am losing weight. I feel like I should go on one of those weight loss commercials with the before and after pictures haha; just kidding though, I havent gotten THAT big of results yet. But Im going to continue working on it for sure.

Wednesday we had a volleyball game. We were so close to winning! We had won our first game and lost the second game. The third game we lost again but the whole time it was neck and neck. Close game in general since the points were always switching sides. Im glad I joined volleyball again this quarter...

… Something else happened Wednesday night; but Ill get to that later, since thats probably the main thing Id like to talk about in this blog.

Thursday night we went to BJs for Pats birthday, I had a good time there. I got to chill with a lot of the older people who I havent seen in a long time. I halved a plate with Joy and for desert I halved a pazzuki with Joy and Jowee. Later that night we went to the last night at the Citrus apartment and some people got crazy drunk. I didnt stay long because I had work the next day. I heard some stories though; some crazy drama with Jowee, Joy, and Rhea. Something about a fight. Anyways, I dont know too much about it; Ill have to learn more when I actually talk to them. I didnt drink that night; I wasnt really I the mood and I was REALLY tired from midterms.

This weekend I spent it in SAN FRANCISCO. I probably would have loved it and enjoyed it much more if it werent raining and spent a few days more there. I was so tired from the drive that I couldnt really hype myself up during the Saturday we were there. I didnt get to see the main sites there and we didnt go shopping in the huge shopping centers, but we did walk around HAIGHT Street where there were a whole lot of vintage shops; it was pretty cool. I learned a lot about some Filipino History at a couple of sites, including some murals, street names, and buildings. There was a hotel party for Pat, but I heard that they got in trouble because of the noise complaints. Im glad that everybody had fun though. I didnt drink or party, I slept because I had to drive home. Still though, one thing I learned from this trip is that I probably would only live in Southern California. The weathers nice here, the atmosphere is nice here; everything in general is just so much more pleasant here to me. I would LOVE to go to San Francisco again, but with different intentions. We shall see what happens in the future. BUT after spending a fun weekend in Frisco, Ive gotten behind in all my homework.

SO super bowl weekend? I have no idea who played in it; Im honestly not into football. I was supposed to chill with Caleb this weekend at his apartment for super bowl; but obviously I didnt make it back in time to go over. Ill probably give him a call later on this week to chill when I have time. WHICH reminds me that I need to call JoJo up to hang out too. JoJo went to Vegas to celebrate Irishs birthday, I hope they had just as much fun as I did; if not more. I was also supposed to hang out with Amverlee this week, but she wasnt available. Ill try to hang out with her this week also.

Anyways Im thinking of being MIA for awhile… actually just for this month of February. Like Im not planning to log into myspace, go on AIM, or anything of that sort. Im hoping not to be tempted to hang out with everybody and all of this other stuff. TOTALLY MIA for a month. Why? I have my reasons… I dont really have the liberty to speak right now. Well see how that goes though; who knows, I may change my mind.

Alright so Wednesday night. I had a talk with an old friend; shes really cool you know? I had a huge crush on her for awhile before and we even dated… then I found her chillin with somebody new. Not that they were together or anything, I dont even think that she likes him. But when I saw them I kind of over reacted inside thinking that she found somebody… stupid me. I mean I told her everything that night and she got really upset with me. I said a lot of stupid things that I shouldnt have said. At the same time, I really couldnt control my emotions so things were being said left and right. Sorry for the lack of a better term, but jealousys a bitch. You may think that youre over somebody but find out that you actually arent. Im so not over it right now. In the process of getting through it… Its just so hard to give up at times when you think somebody is the right person for you. I had a mental breakdown that night; its one of those time when all those emotions that you hide inside come bursting out. I cant really stand it. Im so sorry for saying a whole mess of things that I shouldnt have; I really do care about her though. I hope so much that she cares about me too. Unfortunately, I havent heard from her since that night. Ive been trying to contact her; but Ive given up. She doesnt pick up my phone calls, doesnt reply to my messages; doesnt seem she wants to hear or see me. Im not really surprised; shes really tired of me. Ive already lost her as a lover; I just really hope that I dont lose her as a close friend. Honestly, all I can do is wait; Ive given up trying to get in touch with her. I just have to wait until shes ready to hear and see me again. I hope soon… I miss her.

God, Im dying on the inside… Lord help me.